I take it back!

Yeah. What I said yesterday, about how poop is always funny? Maybe that really, really depends on your proximity and whether you are currently cleaning it up.

Our three year old is toilet training at his own pace. I am done declaring him trained. I will not let those words pass my lips again, because I swear to god, each time I do I end up getting out the mop or the carpet cleaning spray.

His older brother was stubborn about it and on the advice of our beloved pediatrician, we just let it go figuring he would do it in his own time. And he did, simply deciding one day that he was done with diapers forever and would be using the toilet from now on. A week of dry pull-ups at night and I was willing to let him sleep in his treasured Nemo underpants. No problem.

We thought that this one would be simple as well, and in doing so, I really believe we cursed ourselves. He is mostly trained. He will cheerfully announce that he needs to use the toilet in a restaurant, usually just as the food is set on the table. He will let me know that he needs to go Right Now after we've stood in line for 15 minutes at Target. He will whisper urgently that he can't hold it when we're stuck between off-ramps in rush hour freeway traffic, and then somehow manage to stay dry until we can whip the car into a gas station parking lot and frantically hustle him off to the disgusting facilities.

Why, then, is he completely incapable of staying clean and dry at home?? We will go a few days, a week sometimes, with no trouble. Just when I'm starting to breathe again, he will walk up sheepishly and say in that tiny voice, "I had an accident."

It's not like we don't remind him. We use the bathroom before any outing, and I ask again when we get home. If I notice it's been a while, I will prompt him. Very occasionally I'll get a cheerful, "Okay!" and off he goes. More often, I get fits and screaming. I know he wants to be a big boy. I know he wants to do it on his own. But when I've just asked him five minutes before if he needs to use the toilet, I find it hard to be patient with the pee-soaked tennis shoes or the sink full of poop because he's decided he better clean himself up on his own. Definitely not amusing at that point.